Those who have a problem for every solution are people who speak to themselves in problem language. That’s the kind of language that goes on in their mind all the time. A language that is perfumed with: I can’t. I should. How dare I. I’m not worthy. I don’t deserve this.
All of us go through that sort of thinking pattern at some point in our life. We desire so much and beat ourselves up for it with founded and unfounded stories. Anything that will prove that it won’t work.
So basically as you share something you’re very excited about. They will speak to you in that sort of perfumed tone.
You’ll be tempted to say They’re negative. Could be. But I’m always curious about what’s behind negativity and often they just haven’t trained themselves enough to see possibilities other than ‘it won’t work’.
So I usually limit the time I interact with such people. Because I’m a free woman and very protective of my livelihood.
Now these people will challenge me to voice out my solution oriented vibe. Sometimes I just have to roar.
Wow. an opportunity to practice my grit. Tenacity. Conviction. And of course, my solution-oriented attitude. And I also get to train myself that their problem thinking is not mine. Kind Boundaries. Kind boundaries work.
Ok, let’s do this.
So I ‘roar’ for short minutes (I do this between 3 to 10 minutes max). With no intention of convincing. Just sharing my truth and excitement. Honestly listening to their problem thinking and genuinely answering with my solutions, truth and excitement.
And in that 3 to 10 minutes of solution gut roaring conversation something magical happens which is only visible to the soul’s eye. My solution oriented spirit overtakes and awakens their own personal aspirations and desires. Wanting. Hungry for more. Their soul longings that they’ve buried. Oh. Now. I’m really excited about their long lost dream. Let’s talk about how we’re going to make that happen. And we talk about that.
I then move onto something else. another subject. (Of course you can always start by the last line in my message. You decide)
N.B. it’s really challenging not getting sucked into or affected by the vibe of negative people. The shift didn’t happen to me at a click of a button. It costed me time. Tears. Confusion. Which transformed into Intention. Focus. Awareness. Boundaries. And a genuine willingness not to be affected. And that didn’t happen overnight. I worked out these muscles.